Geoff Tate sings truth

Posted by E-George on May 20, 2007

I want to be a busy man
I want to see a change in the future
I’m gonna make the best of what I have
I want to write for a magazine
I’m gonna be the best they’ve ever seen
I know I’ll win if I give it all I can

CHORUS
I won’t let go, gotta make the grade
No, I won’t let go
to be the best man, the best man that I can

Except that I’m not a man. And I don’t want to be a writer for a magazine. And the actual context of this song is something about breaking out of a crummy neighborhood to make something of oneself.

I’m not one of those people who hunts for the hidden daily life applicability of rock music lyrics, however, while trundling through the city streets today running my regular routine of mundane errands, this excerpt from a Queensrÿche song caught my attention. It struck as a rather bold testament to how one could, given grit and determination, knuckle in and be undefeatable (indefeatble? defeatless? Free of defeat.). Following a brief moment of introspection I concluded that I apply myself to those things which I feel may have the highest, or best, payoff, but I’m less inclined to distribute any real determined investment into something for which I cannot prognosticate the outcome. That means, if one were to average my efforts across all opportunities that presented themselves over the sum of my lifetime, you would find that I half-assed my life. Observe:

Let “Opportunities Seized” = A, where hopefully A > B < C
Let “Opportunities Waived” = B
Let “All Opportunities” = C
Let “Viable Opportunities” = V, or, the average of A and B divided by C.

Let “Effort” be a function of “Determination”, D(e)

V = A - B / C

D(e) = V/e

Solve for e, and you get “Half Assed” - I’m almost sure of it. I may have to work out the finer points of the equation, but it’s pretty close.

Seems shameful to half-ass a life away. But, where does one apply oneself to gain the maximum benefit? It’s not practical to apply oneself everywhere then one will be spread too thin and unable to be effective anywhere. In my case, I’m looking at how I’m going to reasonably balance a common array of activities that most American adults are required to balance: Work, School, Fitness, Diet, and Spouse, and not necessarily in that order.

If I were Indomitable Girl of the Predictability League Superhero Gild (Like the Justice League, but more standardized and routine driven) I’d be able to tackle them all with the precision that only comes with being a multi-tasking organized list maker. However, I am George, and while I can multi task, be organized, and make lists, it doesn’t dissipate the reality that I have limits to energy expenditures. I’m bound to get tired eventually. Exerting effort in one area often creates a vacuum, however temporary, in another area. It seems to me like the ultimate conundrum.

The answer to the conundrum is, unfortunately, a forked road where one trail allows me to continue along my half-assing ways, and the other trail can be used to create and foster the urgency and passionate resolve of someone whose had the Roman Candle of Purpose wedged up their behind.

Now I have to choose which fork to follow.

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