Success is a decision - not an occurrence

Posted by E-George on July 12, 2007

Read this article about an average, every day lady who lost 110 pounds in just around 10 months. That’s not a typo. One hundred ten pounds. She did it the traditional way of calorie counting, portion control, & exercise with a moderate amount of support-group accountability.

Besides being a remarkable achievement, here’s what the story communicated to me:

1. She made a concrete decision to change her future. She was aware of being 227 pounds at only 5′ 2″ and all the levels of discomfort and embarrassment that it promoted.
2. She made it a priority and stuck with it.
3. She did not hunt for the miracle cure for her weight loss. She took a sensible, maintainable approach.
4. She did not take the attitude that she was dieting as a punishment, but that it was/is the key to freedom.

The discussion of weight loss is a tender subject, largely, I think, because it is rooted firmly in the emotional plane for several reasons:

1. In today’s positive-image-hungry society the idea of admitting to or accepting the criticism of being mildly/moderately/seriously overweight or obese is affronting.
2. Because we’ve trained ourselves to only think positive things about ourselves and to reject a negative self image, it has grown nigh impossible to healthily acknowledge the negative aspects of oneself.
3. We feel like we should be accepted and loved, appreciated and admired, for just who we are on the inside, and appearances should have very little impact on that (See #2). To be told otherwise is embarrassing (See #1). Yet, simultaneously, we look down our noses at the tattooed, pierced, and gang-bangers and tell each other how those people will never be taken seriously because of the way they look.
4. For so many (me included), certain foods provoke a neural-chemical response that is desperately soothing. Once the brain learns this response, food (or particular food) goes from being a life-sustaining resource and becomes a relationship. Something one can turn to in times of sadness, stress, loneliness, etc… The idea of giving up or cutting back on those foods is tantamount to forfeiting the relationship - It is like breaking up with food, and breaking up with a seemingly fulfilling relationship is emotionally taxing and depressing. It feels like you’ve kicked an undeserving friend or lover to the curb. I did. OK. I do, still, sometimes.

The article inspired me. The lady was/is 51 years old, was/is busy, had/has other priorities, had/has all the impediments to weight loss that I have. But, she persisted, and she succeeded. How does one do this? Here’s what I think:

1. Change my attitude. Do not view all the things I am giving up to lose weight (whatever those things may have be) and be sad and regretful, pining needlessly for those things.
2. Make healthy eating a priority. Don’t drudge through healthy foods with the sub-thought of, “Someday I will have lost all this stupid weight and I can eat *real* food again.”
3. Make exercise a priority. Don’t delay starting by using excuses about time or energy constraints. Excuses abound, and there will always be one handy to stop me from exercising if I spend a few picoseconds to think of one. Exercise is directly linked to increases in energy, even though it takes a while to start feeling the effects.
4. Decide. Right now. Decide if I am “dieting” or if I am retraining my mind and my body to accept healthy inputs as a standard and a matter of routine. If I am dieting, that means I will be back in this position in the next 1-3 years. If I am retraining my mind and body, it will take longer to achieve the goal, but then the goal is sustainable.
5. Acknowledge how my appearance affects and reflects upon others. It’s not a happy thought, but there are reciprocities to those around me when I am not taking care of myself. I can style my hair, wear make up, put on pretty earrings, and wear my nicest outfit, and I might not look too awful. But, I don’t have to look at me. The people around me have to, and pudgy is still pudgy even if it is all dolled up.
6. Stop yipping and start doing. Instead of being persistently disappointed by what the scale is telling me, enact #1, #2, #3, and #4. Do something about my situation instead of waiting for it to just happen. Just because I feel like I “deserve” positive results because I’ve been faithfully eating properly and exercising diligently don’t make it so. I don’t “deserve” to lose weight because I’m a good person. I’ll “deserve” my weight loss after I’ve determinedly made and stuck to the right decisions that will get me to my goal.

There are a 1,000,000+1 arguments to everything I’ve written here. There are even more arguments about why the lady in the article is successful and why I haven’t been. I can list every impediment under the sun, but it doesn’t change anything. Those who succeed are those who make a goal, decide how to get there, make a plan of attack, and vigorously and vehemently stick to their guns. They don’t get waylaid by disappointments or frustrations - setbacks only work to steel their resolve. They don’t spend time agonizing over the minutia or by looking for reasons why they won’t succeed. They take joy in the challenge of competing with themselves for whole person supremacy, and they don’t waste energy being discouraged over what they’re forfeiting. What they’re forfeiting is a spec of cosmic dust compared to what they’ll be achieving. In short, those who succeed are those who decide they will succeed and faithfully act upon their decision, rather than those who decide and then expect the decision itself to produce the desired result.

For the record, here’s my “Before” picture. This is from July 2006 when I was close (note “close”) to my all-time high of 157 pounds. I’m 5′4″, by the way. And, baggy clothes can’t be used as an excuse. That’s really how I looked.

In January, I made my decision to lose weight after several candid conversations with my very patient, loving, and understanding (and already thin & fit) husband. What I failed to do was make the decision as I described above, so the process, while moderately successful, has been arduous, slow, and, at times discouraging. I’ve plateaued and haven’t lost any more weight since May, and I still need to. I’m re-committing myself to my goal, only this time I’m taking this successful-people approach and I will win. I’m determined. When I’ve achieved my goal, I’ll get another picture similar to this one, and then post them side by side. We’ll see if I look any different. hur hur!

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