Not fair.

Posted by E-George on January 16, 2008

It’s not fair. Why do accidents happen? (Rhetorical question. I know why accidents happen.) Why do good people get inflicted with unspeakable awfulness? (Also rhetorical.) Why is it, when the awfulness comes, I grow mute? (Not so rhetorical. This has bothered me for years). I become incapable of expression and words abandon me in favor of a shifty, long awkward silences and a freakishly wrinkled brow.

I had to buy sympathy cards today for the grandparents and parents of a 6-month-old baby who died very suddenly, very unexpectedly, very tragically. I browsed these cards looking for one that could express the heartache I was feeling. I wanted one to communicate that my entire soul burned in misery on their behalf, but that I knew that my sorrow could never match what they are feeling. That I was praying for them with every breath I inhaled and exhaled. That God was still near and still faithful. That it’s not fair. No one in their right mind thinks this was fair. That I hope they survive this crushing turmoil, even though they probably don’t want to.

The only cards I could find were trite. Stupid. Insensitive. Gangled. Covered in hideous shiny cala lilies, or watercolor pictures of beach fronts. They all started with the cop out phrase, “May you find…” as if I was trying to will them into recovery so I could feel better. A startling number of cards demanded that they have faith in God and that “memories will see you through”. It took me more than 30 minutes of searching to find one that simply said that we were thinking and praying for them. I will add that we love them all.

It’s not fair. And, there’s no sympathy card on the rack that simply says that.

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