Erasing the subjectivity between right and wrong

Posted by E-George on July 30, 2008

I’ve had it on my heart to write this post for quite some time, but I’ve never stopped long enough to render the necessary graphics to aid in the lesson. With Matthew in bed feeling like he’s caught my cold, the kitchen clean, dinner put away, and the house tidy (enough), I had a whole 3.5 hours to wile away this evening. (For those of you snerking with a jerk of your head and thinking, Enjoy it while it lasts! When that baby comes, you won’t have time to BLINK. YOUR. OWN. EYES. Stuff it. I already know this surplus of time is a luxury.)

Since I had the time, I thought it would be appropriate to share with all of you the education that was so calmly, yet powerfully shared with me. The story goes as follows:

One random family dinner at our house, my sister solicits the use of our facilities. When she comes out, she informs me that she has “fixed” my toilet paper roll installation. Fixed? Fixed. She stated it in the same calm and matter-of-fact tone that one might use to say they planted a row of beans, or took a walk around the block, or read an article on fruit bat gestational schedules. Naturally, I was intrigued and, not being one to pass up an opportunity to better my domestic prowess, I inquired as to the correction which was made. She described what she had done, as well as the natural physics of motion combined with the construction of the toilet paper roll itself, all of which supported her action and it made perfect sense. Since that day, I have been militant about installing my toilet paper rolls correctly. And, to help anyone else who may be curious about the right way versus wrong way to install a toilet paper roll, please follow the step-by-step pictorial lesson.

Observe the common toilet paper roll:

Now, observe the common toilet paper roll on the common dispensing unit, canonically referred to as the toilet paper roll holder.

By inspection the toilet paper roll can only be installed upon the holder one (1) of two (2) ways. The first being the toilet paper unrolling off the back of the roll.

And, the second being the toilet paper unrolling off the front of the roll.

For ease of use, it is obvious that toilet paper unrolling from the front of the roll is a far more efficient method of accessing, distributing, and rationing the toilet paper than if it were to come off the back of the roll. Installations wherein the toilet paper comes off the back of the roll, the user may spend unnecessary time twirling the roll on the holder attempting to locate the available torn edge in order to begin wad acquisition, whereas if it comes off the front of the roll, this time is greatly diminished as the edge is often quite readily accessible.

Now you know there is a RIGHT way, and a WRONG way. I hope you choose what’s right. If not, I’ll send my sister over to correct all your toilet paper roll installations and tell you that you did it wrong using that tone of voice that incites immediate recantation of all other sins, including that one.

Filed Under: Thank you, and GOOD NIGHT! - Comments:



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