Wherein I detail my absolute wussness

Posted by E-George on July 10, 2009

OK, so, like, I’m a complete wussass. Last weekend Matthew, Evelyn, and I drove to Magdalena for Larry and Anah’s birthdays. Because of a small problem with the Infiniti’s air conditioning system (where “small problem” is a suddenly non-functional air conditioning system), we were driving in the GTI. Not a bad ride for small trips, but longer drives are more of a trial because the GTI sits so close to the ground that every bump and flaw in the road translates to a more experiential ride. The drive down was relatively uneventful. I calculated that with an attention span of perhaps 5 minutes per toy, across a 120 minute drive meant I should bring 24 toys to sustain us. Matthew drove and I sat with Evelyn and rotated the toys through her hands and by golly if it didn’t work.

Then. Then came the drive home. We got in the car and everything appeared nominal. But, 15 minutes after we left Sarah’s house Evelyn went to complete pieces. Nothing could console her. No toy fixed it. Nothing. And the howling! The wailing. The obvious end. To. The. World. Sometimes, when babies cry, it peaks and then ebbs off. But this was the first time in Evelyn’s young life when she didn’t talk herself off the ledge of emotional peril but instead got more and more feverishly pitched in her protestations.

By the time we were reaching Belen, Evelyn had been yowling like a boiling piglet for more nearly 90 straight minutes. And I was admittedly starting to get frantic. My child doesn’t fuss inconsolably! Something must be wrong! She must be teething! She must be in agony! OH MY GOD MY CHILD IS IN AGONY AND I CAN’T FIX IT!! To help Matthew further understand the growing desperation of our situation I attempted to steer the car using fistfulls of his hair and ears down the first Belen exit and towards Walgreens where I clawed my way out of the backseat like a cat would claw its way out of a toilet bowl. Once out of the car I cuddled my baby (who instantly stopped being mad once she was out of the car) and proceeded to chase Matthew up and down the aisles spastically directing his purchase of a sippy cup, ice water, baby Tylenol, and a collection of microfiber cloths.

Here was my thought:

(1) The sippy cup and ice water would feel good on any teeth that might be causing discomfort. Plus, some rehydration after all those tears couldn’t be such a bad idea.

(2) The Tylenol was to further sooth any pain she might be in. If it gave the added bonus of dosing out a nap, too, more the better.

(3) The microfiber cloths were for wrapping around the crummy carseat straps that were rubbing on her neck and legs.

By the time I was done she looked like she was sitting in the gutted remains of a white and blue teddy bear, her shirtfront wet with ice water, and the tell-tale pink of Tylenol staining the corner of her mouth. Add to that her red-rimmed eyes, tear stained cheeks, and sweat-damped hair sticking out in all directions and she made a rather pitiful site. But, we were only in Belen and still had to get the rest of the way home, so back into the carseat she went, and on turned the water works again. At least by now it had registered that she was mad about being in the car, and not upset due to any other physical discomfort. Lucky for me, the Tylenol kicked in around Los Lunas and she slept like the dead until we got home.

So, here’s where the wussness showed itself. I completely crumbled after 90 minutes of her being outrageously upset. 90 minutes. Well, more like 110 minutes, once you count the 20 additional minutes from Belen to Los Lunas. But still. Less than two hours. By the time we got home I was so completely exhausted and put out that all I wanted to do was put Evelyn straight to bed and crawl as far as I could into a rum and coke. I was cranky, snippy, and generally a bunghole.

I have been so fortunate in Evelyn’s even temperament. She so rarely fusses, and when she does fuss it is a perfunctory action. She’s gifted in temporary, but accurately directional, anger. So many times I fail to recognize and sustain gratitude for her good nature, so when an experience as rare as this comes along I am completely taken aback and unprepared. I have friends who have endured countless unabated hours of this level of strain. These same friends have endured countless hours of strain that was 100 times worse than that! And, they are still standing. Confident. Strong. Successful. Sane (mostly). And, I could barely take 90 minutes. Unreal.

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